breastnest:

someday i will buy a pickle that is 6 feet 4 inches tall and i will step inside of it and call my friend and say “hey can you come help me im kind of in a pickle” 

calibrate:

i hope during the beginning Nintendo’s E3 conference that its all dark then a screen lights up with the words “IS YOUR BODY READY?” then Space Jam starts playing and Reggie comes bursting out of the back wearing a Mario jersey with matching pants and shoes with a red sweatband on his head that has a big M on it

then hoops rise out from the ground and he starts doing sweet dunks

(Source: reggiefils-aime)

me: i'm ugly
me: i'm sexy
me: i'm stupid
me: i'm a genius
me: i hate people ugh there needs to be another plague
me: i just adore pEOPLE in general right now
me: i want to be alone
me: i feel too lonely i want someone to love me and care for me
me: i sound like a dying cat
me: my voice is the sound of sex i should record an album
me: people hate me and i don't know why
me: i feel so loved right now i can't even ily all
me: there are so many things wrong with me
me: i'm flawless